Pupil: Would you punish someone for something that they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Pupil: That's good, because I haven't done my homework.
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes over a fence, they all go!"
Feeding the penguins
A zookeeper spotted a man throwing 20 pound notes into the penguin enclosure.
"Why are you doing that?" he asked the man.
The man replied, "the sign says that it is allowed."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does. It says Do not feed the Penguins. £20 fine."