Lost watch

I was addressing some mail when I noticed that my card file of frequently used addresses was missing. Thinking it must have fallen from my typing table into the wastebasket, I called the office janitor.

"I've lost my Rolodex," I told him. "It may have been picked up with the trash. Is there any way you could find it?" He said he would conduct a search. When the janitor informed me he had searched every trash container for my Rolodex, with no luck, I thanked him for his trouble.

As I left work that evening, the janitor met me at the door.

"Good night," he said smiling apologetically. "Sorry I couldn't find your watch."

What started the fire?

A bagel left unattended in a microwave, set off the fire alarm. The microwave, charred and smoking, was carried outside and placed on the sidewalk.

A fireman walked up and said, "Is this the object that started the fire?"

One of the employees said, "No. When we take a break, it takes a break."

Violin pratice

An 11-year-old boy was doing his violin practice at home and the torturous noise was making the dog howl.

Upstairs the boy's father was trying to work on the computer. After putting up with the combined racket of the violin and the dog's wailing for 20 minutes, the father eventually called out,

"Jason, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"