I Liked The Sermon, But...
A family asked a preacher to come to their home for dinner after church. The child of that family was quite precocious. To encourage conversation the mother asked the little girl how she liked the service. The girl replied, "I liked it, but the sermon was a little long."
About that point the child remembered the preacher was present, got embarrassed and tried to restate her point more politely. She said, "Actually, it wasn't really so long, it just seemed long."
Revenge And The Goldfish
Here's an example of someone who went a little overboard to get revenge. Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a large hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What'cha doing, Johnny?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Johnny patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because he's inside your dumb cat."
A week after the resurrection
The chaplain at a local nursery/kindergarten meets with the three- and four-year-olds once a week to tell them a Bible story. After talking about the resurrection, the week after Easter, one of the youngsters thought about the story very carefully. Finally she raised her hand, and sounding just like a little old lady, she asked, "And just how is Jesus doing these days?"
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class,
"If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."