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To avoid trouble, breathe through your nose. It keeps your mouth shut.

“God hath given to man a short time here upon earth, and yet upon this short time eternity depends.” Jeremy Taylor

One who cares is one who listens

“A godly man is a praying man.”

Thomas Watson

“We too often love things and use people when we should be using things and loving people.” Author Unknown

An idea that is clear and precise even though false will always have greater power in the world than an idea that is true but complex.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

G.K. Chesterson

“Well done is better than well said.”

Benjamin Franklin

“Faith is believing in advance what can only be understood in reverse.” Chuck Swindoll

This day brought to you by Jesus.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the Limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the Limo breaks down.

A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind.

God is with you. He’ll never leave you. You aren’t alone. Because Jesus Christ is the only way home!

When thoughts enter my mind uninvited, I do my best not to let them get comfortable there.

We are all at times unconscious prophets.

“As jou tong te skerp is kan jy dalk jou eie keel afsny”

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Why must the phrase “It’s none of my business” always be followed by the word “but”?

“God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer.” Mother Teresa

“A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.”

Samuel Goldwyn

The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.

Mayor Frank Rizzo

“I don’t think we learned a lesson; I think it was a learning experience for us.”

Shaquille O’Neal, basketball player, after game 4 of the 2001 NBA finals, on being asked by NBC reporter Jim Gray if LA had learned a lesson from what happened the previous year in Indiana

“It was not my class of people. There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor.”

Zsa Zsa Gabor, on the jury used for her assault trial.

“Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine.”

Radio news announcer

"The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet."

Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars.

“Mr. Milosevic has to be careful. The calendar is ticking.”

Richard Haas, NBC News consultant

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”

Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to.”

Linda Evangelista, Supermodel

“If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.”

Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

“Did people build this, or did Indians?”

Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park

“The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.”

Gerry Brown

The only reason we’re 7-0 is because we’ve won all seven of our games.

David Garcia

“I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians.”

Tom Lasorda, former Dodger manager on World Cup soccer tournament.

“While sitting in a tavern, someone hit my nose from behind.”

Reason given for insurance claim.

“We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover.”

Parish Magazine

You read what Disraeli had to say. I don’t remember what he said. He said something. He’s no longer with us.

Bob Dole

“It is thought that Raj Mohammed Poselay was beaten to death, possibly during a family fun day in the park.”

Newspaper, Wolverton Express & Star (UK)

“The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.”

Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars.